The Resolution Layer - What Reveals Itself When You Stop Trying to Figure It Out
The Excel Sheet Trap
One big lesson I learned the hard way: When you're just "the creative guy" in someone else's vision, you have no agency.
I stayed in my lane. Marketing. Design. The art guy. Others handled Wall Street. Others handled the tech and Web3 world. That was the dynamic.
But staying in my lane meant being left in the dark. Decisions made without me. Projections I didn't control. Excel sheets showing numbers I never questioned—high projections, massive potential, someone else's definition of success.
I trusted people I thought were smarter. Ivy League guys. People who understood the money game better than I did.
But their lane wasn't my lane. Their vision wasn't my vision.
And when things didn't pan out? I realized: I was executing someone else's unclear strategy while believing their clarity would somehow become mine.
It didn't.
The clarity that emerged: When you're compartmentalized in someone else's vision, you lose agency. No matter how good you are at your part.
The Physical Test: Force vs. Flow
How do you know when you're forcing clarity versus letting it emerge?
Physically, I know.
Forcing feels like: trying to implement so many new things at once that I finish nothing. Scattered. Lost. Chest tight. Scrolling anxiously.
Flow feels like: The Rebel Onion. 31 weeks. Consistent. Authentic. Depth over breadth.
I wake up at 6am to write not because I'm forcing a routine—I do it because it feels right. The clarity comes in that quiet morning space, not in the frantic pivoting through the day.
But here's what I'm wrestling with: I'm in survival mode. Bills need paying. So even when something feels like flow, I question it. "Is this enough? Should I be doing MORE?"
The clarity emerging: Flow isn't about doing nothing. It's about depth. And depth requires trust.
What I'm Still Clinging To
I've stopped everything. All the vices. Womanizing. Hookah (yeah, that was a thing till circa 2014). Porn. Alcohol. Bad nutrition. I'm being the best father and husband I can be.
I've let go of so much.
But unconsciously? I'm still holding onto my old way of being. The need to help my father when my life moved on 12 years ago. The belief that grinding like he did is the only way to prove I'm serious.
2025 is the Year of the Snake. I heard someone mention it on a podcast and actually looked into what that means. A snake doesn't just shed once—it sheds multiple times throughout its life. But here's the thing: it sheds when it's READY, not when it decides to. The old skin becomes too tight, restrictive. The snake can't grow unless it releases what no longer fits.
And I keep asking: What am I unconsciously clinging to? What's ready to be shed that I'm holding on out of fear?
2026 is the Year of the Fire Horse—intensity, passion, forward momentum. But you can't gallop forward if you're still wearing last year's skin.
The clarity that's hard to accept: Letting go of the old self means trusting the new one is enough. Even when it doesn't look like what I thought success would be.
The Two Voices at War
Voice 1 (Trust): Higher power is guiding me. The kingdom of God is within. Let it out. Trust. It's in my heart and gut (feeling).
Voice 2 (Prove): You can be spiritual all you want, but bills need paying. Faith requires action. Do something NOW.
I'm torn between these two voices every single day.
And here's the thing—I DO trust. I trust God. I trust my higher power. I trust that I'm being led to the right path.
But I'm also in survival mode. I need to provide. So I take the projects. I charge what I'm worth. I get it done. Not just to get by—but to create the life my family deserves.
In an AI world. Full distractions. Political chaos. I need to retract, refocus, go within, and trust MY process.
But how do you trust when the metrics don't reflect it yet?
The question I'm sitting with: What if trusting the process IS the action?
The Rigged World
I'm going to say it: We're living in a rigged world.
All the cartels and gangs went into legit businesses. Built empires on the foundations of drug dealers. Now those people rule the world.
You can't even go viral on good deeds anymore. Influencers use Machiavellian tactics—fake stories, manufactured drama, deceptive hooks. You have to separate: business is battle mode, family is love mode.
Trophy winners who never earned it? They're in big positions now. Probably even Congress.
And I'm supposed to compete in THIS?
I'm trying to show up authentically in a world that rewards deceit.
But here's what I'm learning: In a world of deceit, authenticity IS the disruption.
The Rebel Onion? That's what I set out to do. In a world of manipulation and algorithm-rigging, just come from truth. Tailor to my tribe. Or at the very least, people who are thinking it but haven't said it out loud yet.
Even if the numbers don't reflect it yet.
"Authenticity is the only thing that cannot be imitated. In a world of deceit, being yourself is the ultimate disruption." — The Rebel Onion
The Saturated Field Question
My metrics across platforms aren't where I hoped they'd be. Some channels perform better than others, but overall, the numbers are small.
Then I remember: The topics I'm talking about aren't for everyone. They're for a specific tribe. And maybe that's exactly why the numbers look this way.
I still ask myself: "Am I doing something wrong? Is what I'm saying not understood?"
Graphic design + AI integration in a saturated field. "Am I going to do it correctly?"
But then I remember: The Rebel Onion isn't saturated. It's MY lane. Authentic. True. Depth over viral moments.
Why doesn't it feel like enough?
Because I'm measuring it by someone else's metrics. Because the world tells me I should have "blown up" by now.
But I also know: Keep going when it feels right. It DOES feel right. It will take a year. And in that year, I'll only keep getting better every week.
The clarity I'm accepting: Low numbers don't mean wrong path. They mean early path.
What Died, What's Being Born
Here's what died: My belief that other people were smarter. That Ivy League credentials meant they understood something I didn't. My willingness to leave my family's future to chance. My tolerance for being "the creative guy" executing someone else's unclear vision.
And what's trying to be born?
I don't fully know yet. And I don't know why.
But I think it's this: Me owning the WHOLE vision. Not just the creative execution. Design + storytelling + my authentic voice. Smaller, maybe. But MINE.
No more deference. No more compartmentalization. No more being left in the dark on decisions that affect my family's future.
The clarity that's uncomfortable: I'm not giving space to what's being born because I'm too busy forcing clarity on the old structure.
The Monetary Anchor
I know I'm basing trust on monetary value right now. I'm in survival mode. I need to provide.
I have skill sets. 100+ books read. Knowledge. Experience.
But honestly? Without action, none of it matters.
So I'm forcing an outcome based on a formula I'm putting on myself.
And here's the paradox: I trust the higher power. But I don't trust that the path I'm ON—newsletter, design, authentic work—IS the answer.
Because it doesn't look like Excel projections. It doesn't look like viral moments. It doesn't look like the "success" I thought I needed.
The resolution I'm walking toward: What if the monetary breakthrough comes BECAUSE I stop forcing and commit fully to my lane, not despite it?
This Week's Peel
As you peel deeper into an onion, each layer reveals itself more clearly. You don't force the layers. You peel one at a time. And with each one, the core becomes more visible.
After 31 weeks, here's what's becoming clear:
I'm not supposed to go back to language I don't fully understand.
I'm not supposed to chase saturated trends.
I'm not supposed to play games for viral moments.
I'm supposed to stay in MY lane: design, authentic storytelling, depth over breadth.
The Rebel Onion isn't a side project. It's the breadcrumb trail showing me where I'm going.
Clarity doesn't come from forcing. It comes from continuing to walk. Heck, run!
Even when the metrics are low. Even when the bills are pressing. Even when the two voices are at war.
The resolution layer isn't something you find. It's something that emerges naturally from sustained depth work.
And maybe—just maybe—I'm already on the path. The clarity is already revealing itself.
I just need to trust it long enough to see it fully emerge.
This week, notice: What are you forcing clarity on that might resolve naturally if you kept walking? What voice is louder—trust or prove? And what would change if you believed the path you're already on IS the answer, even when it doesn't look like what you expected?
The "Being Coached" Layer: The Courage to Be Seen
Dr. Goodman explains that the true purpose of "shedding" is to refine your sensitivity. To hear the universe’s feedback, you must have a nervous system free of interference—which requires a body free of toxins, proper rest, and physical fitness. Without this biological clarity, you cannot discern whether the feedback you receive is about your current state or your future path. Your limbic system extends into your gut, and if you feed yourself "crap," you create internal noise that drowns out your intuition, making it impossible to recognize the truth of the opportunity you are going through.
The problem with being the most medicated country in the world is that medicine often suppresses the very system you need to recognize your truth. There is a vital distinction between trying to "make it happen" based on the expectations of others and "letting it happen" when you are in the flow. By adopting the mantra to "Let Go and Let God"—internalizing that a higher power is in control—you can finally silence the inner critic. This allows you to relax, have a great day, and trust the only process that matters: your own.
Bookshelf Peeled - The Freedom of Separation
In The Courage to Be Disliked, Ichiro Kishimi explores the Adlerian concept of "Separation of Tasks," which is the ultimate cure for the "Excel Sheet Trap." Adlerian psychology suggests that most of our stress comes from intruding on other people’s tasks or allowing them to intrude on ours. When you were "the creative guy" executing someone else's Ivy League vision, you were taking on the task of making their unclear strategy work. Resolution only reveals itself when you stop trying to figure out other people's expectations and focus solely on your own lane.
The book argues that "life is a series of moments," not a linear race to a finish line defined by metrics or viral success. By letting go of the need for recognition and the fear of judgment, you stop forcing a specific outcome and allow your authentic path to emerge. This aligns perfectly with the "Resolution Layer"—when you stop trying to manipulate the world into seeing your value, you gain the freedom to actually provide it. True clarity comes from the courage to be misunderstood by the "saturated field" while you remain true to your own tribe.
The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness.
By Ichiro Kishimi
Design Rebel: Trust vs. Prove
Inspired by the shedding of the snake and the paths we choose as we step into the new year. Created using Sora, Leonardo.ai, Veo 3.1, and ElevenLabs. Edited with Wondershare Filmora.
Weekly Inspired Insights I liked or found useful this week:
As celebrities warn us about the rise of deepfakes and AI-generated scams, my focus remains on the "Rebel" path: using these same tools to peel back the layers of deceit and reveal a truth that can’t be faked.
P.S. If this resonates with you, share it with someone. I'm dedicated to helping fellow explorers—or anyone who found this page—uncover their authentic self with humor and insight. We're all in this together, finding the courage to truly live from our core essence (or as close as we can get!).
The Cross-Section Layer: Seeing the Whole Pattern (Tentative)
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