The Regeneration Layer - When the Risk-Taker Needs to Come Back Wiser, Not Reckless
Growing Back What Was Lost
Cut away part of an onion and it will attempt to regenerate. Not go back to what it was, but grow back stronger, adapted to the wound. The question isn't what you lost—it's what's ready to grow back in a new form.
I'm realizing the part of me that needs to regenerate isn't the reckless 20-something. It's the guy who trusted himself enough to take action without perfect conditions.
And I think he's been dormant for about 7 years.
The Demolition Years
October 2013. I had everything on paper: exclusive high-rise apartment in the heart of Brickell, Miami. Family company job. Big friend group. Going out constantly. Multiple women. The life I'd always dreamed of (funny to see dream phases in our life and what I wanted then).
One day I just said: "I know nothing."
Not as a metaphor. As a genuine confession. I'd achieved the external markers and felt completely empty.
So I did something that looked insane: Quit the family company. Calculated my lease ending and didn't renew it. Put everything in storage. Bought a ticket to Europe for three weeks. No plan for where I'd live next, but I'd be back in my design company, and I'd figure it out.
That was October 3, 2013. I came back and crashed in a friend's second bedroom until I figured it out.
Looking back, I wouldn't call it reckless. I'd call it desperate clarity.
The Productive Chaos Period
2014-2015 were the "wreckless years" (and yes, I was a wreck).
After a year in, lost my anchor design client—the watch company that was all my eggs in one basket. Same drinking and womanizing, and even a hookah addiction. Geez, I was a mess. Then, the IRS took a big sum straight out of my bank account one day. I lost it.
But also during those years: I started reading constantly (starting with Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist on audiobook because I couldn't focus enough to read). Kickboxing four times a week. Volleyball after kickboxing. Mountain biking everywhere because I lived central. Building (maintaining) my design company. Meeting random people.
At a volleyball game in 2015, I met a girl who introduced me to Dr. Goodman. He literally showed up at my apartment needing a website. In exchange for design work, he coached me, did therapy, introduced me to NET (neuro-emotional technique). Changed my life.
Around that timeframe, I met my girlfriend (now wife) in Delray Beach—my escape place from Miami. Largely because of my work with Dr. Goodman, I don't know if I would have ever settled down in that season otherwise.
The demolition created space for what mattered.
The Strategic Grind Phase
Then came the next chapter: Blockchain partnership. Move to Palm Beach. Marriage. Son. Sobriety. Tech company grind for years.
I became strategic. Patient. Responsible. Smart.
But somewhere in all that wisdom and strategy, I lost the part of me that said "Fuck it, I'll figure it out" and jumped into unknown territory.
I've been waiting. Trusting the process. Having faith. Being the stable dad, the optimal parent, the reliable partner.
And I've been depending on other people's timelines while my family needs me to provide NOW.
The Regeneration Moment
The risk-taker didn't die. He's been dormant, waiting for permission to come back.
But 2025 Martin can't replicate 2013 Martin's moves. I'm not single, crashing on couches, with nothing to lose. I have a wife, a son, responsibilities.
The regeneration isn't about being reckless again. It's about bold action without requiring perfect conditions.
I've now learned vibe coding. I have design clients. I have this newsletter. I have Dr. Goodman as my anchor client (ironic full circle). I have 10,000+ hours of learning that prepared me for this moment —I am ready.
What needs to regenerate? Taking action on what I already know instead of waiting for external validation.
I can't keep waiting for someone else's timeline while my son watches me work late into the night. I can't keep "trusting the process" when the process has been "almost there" for years.
The bold decision-maker who vacated Brickell with no plan is coming back. But this time, he's building what he controls. Starting this week.
This Week's Peel
What part of you got buried under "being smart" and "being strategic"?
The risk-taker. The experimenter. The person who moved before they had all the answers.
That person didn't die. They're dormant, waiting for you to give them permission to regenerate.
Not as the reckless version who ignored consequences. As the wise version who acts boldly because waiting for perfect conditions is its own form of recklessness.
Cut away the part of you that waits for permission, perfect timing, or someone else's breakthrough.
Watch what grows back.
"We must be willing to fail and to make mistakes and to risk and to be vulnerable. We must be willing to give up control. Things are not always going to go the way we planned."
— Madeleine L'Engle
This week, notice: What bold action are you delaying because you're being "strategic"? And what if the part of you that takes imperfect action without overthinking is ready to regenerate—wiser, not reckless?
The "Being Coached" Layer: Vesting the Power to Proceed
This week, Dr. Goodman, helped define the critical difference between the reckless action of 2013 and the wise action required today: Permission. He explained that when a coach or mentor "turns somebody loose," they grant the new reality the weight of external credibility. He used the quote, "By virtue of the power vested in me by the state of Florida, I hereby declare you whatever it is you need to be." This transfer of power gives the creator (you) permission to proceed, making your action feel bigger than just you.
The lesson is that this transforms your move from personal recklessness to validated creation. You will never be fearless, but you will be fear-less. This is essential because you now have profound responsibilities—you can no longer crash on a couch. The value of this ongoing relationship is that every "happy coincidence" is affirmed by the universe, increasing confidence. That external vesting is the affirmation you need to take bold, calculated risks today.
Bookshelf Peeled - The Body's Demand for Action
This week's insight comes from Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score. The book explains that trauma, chaos, and sustained stress don't just affect our minds; they fundamentally alter our nervous systems, often leaving us in a state of immobilization. Trauma is about being rendered helpless—when the survival instinct for action (fight/flight) is aborted, the "action residue" remains trapped in the body. The danger of the Strategic Grind Phase is that over-control and waiting for perfect conditions is a sophisticated, adult form of freezing, which is rooted in this unresolved helplessness.
To access the dormant risk-taker and achieve Regeneration, you need physical movement and action, not just strategy. Van der Kolk emphasizes that true healing requires the body to create new action pathways. The wiser risk-taker is the one whose nervous system is retrained to feel safe taking imperfect action. The core lesson is clear: You must move before you feel ready to prove to your body that you are no longer helpless and break the cycle of paralysis.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. By Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
Design Rebel: Regenerating the Risk-Taker
This prompt is literally my life scenario—I even recorded my son's voice for this segment! The other voiceover is from ElevenLabs. Imagery and video were created using Leonardo.ai and Veo 3.1, with the script written by me and structured with the help of Gemini. The final edit was completed in Wondershare Filmora. Enjoy this deeply personal layer.
Weekly Inspired Insights I liked or found useful this week:
Inspired by the marketing social I did from "Being Coached," "Vesting the Power to Proceed," I made this for his socials. It seemed appropriate.
P.S. If this resonates with you, share it with someone. I'm dedicated to helping fellow explorers—or anyone who found this page—uncover their authentic self with humor and insight. We're all in this together, finding the courage to truly live from our core essence (or as close as we can get!).
The Fermentation Layer: Becoming More Through Breakdown
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