The Dormant Layer - Potential Waiting to Sprout
The 19-Year-Old Decision That Buried My Creative Soul
At 19, I made a choice that would haunt me for decades. Ten years ago, a therapist found that exact moment buried in my nervous system.
An onion can sit dormant for months, then suddenly sprout given the right conditions. What parts of you are patiently waiting for their moment?
I’d been drawing since I was three years old. My abstract art was sometimes abstract enough to freak my mom out, like the time I drew what she thought was inappropriate—and questioned what I’d been watching—which I innocently called "a s-s-s-snake". By fourth grade, I received an F in art (which canceled my birthday party), but a year later, I drew a palm tree so detailed that my art teacher recommended me for magnet art school. I walked in with five drawings tucked under my arm while others carried full portfolios—and I was the only one accepted.
Then came 19. The crossroads. Graphic design or finance.
My Chilean immigrant father, who'd arrived in Miami with $300 and a dream, built a successful freight forwarding business through sheer survival instinct. His message was clear: family business first, or leave and do your creative thing, but you can't do both.
I chose finance. I chose safety. I chose what felt practical.
And didn't finish. Instead, I continued at my warehouse spot in the family business.
For decades, this pattern played out: I'd cycle between creative work and "sensible" business choices, never fully committing to either. Two music albums as a singer-songwriter (yes, I wrote songs and wanted to be the next Martin Iglesias), freelance design work, always keeping one foot in the practical world and one in creativity—satisfying neither.
The Moment My Nervous System Revealed the Truth
Ten years ago, Dr. Goodman introduced me to NET—Neuro Emotional Technique. I had no idea what we were looking for when he lifted my arm and began muscle testing.
"Think of an age," he said. My arm stayed strong.
He tried different ages. When he hit 19, my arm dropped like a stone.
"Think of a person." Various names—arm stayed strong. When he said "father," it dropped again.
"Now think about what happened at age 19 with your father."
BOOM.
The decision surfaced. The crossroads. The moment I chose his path over mine.
And then came the shame. Goosebumps spread across my arms. Tears started flowing from nowhere. My body was releasing something it had been holding for decades—the grief of abandoning my creative self to please someone else's fears.
What's Possible When You Clear the Charge
Here's what I discovered: that 19-year-old choice wasn't just a career decision. It was the moment my creative authority went dormant. Not dead—dormant. Like a seed waiting for the right conditions to finally sprout.
The NET session cleared the emotional charge around that memory. It didn't erase what happened, but it dissolved the shame and fear that had been running my choices ever since.
Years later, in a heart-to-heart conversation in his office, my father finally said what I'd needed to hear as I resigned for the 3rd and final time: "Since you were a little kid, I always knew you were creative, and I did everything in my power to stop that. No matter what I do, you go back to it. So go and do your design."
The immigrant father who'd fought my creativity out of survival terror was finally giving me permission to be who I'd always been.
Your Dormant Seeds Are Still Viable
Your suppressed creative talents aren't dead—they're dormant, waiting for the right conditions to emerge. That business idea you keep putting off, those leadership qualities you haven't owned, that creative authority you've labeled as "unrealistic"—they're all still there.
Sometimes what's keeping our potential dormant isn't lack of opportunity or skill. It's an emotional charge from a moment when we chose safety over authenticity, when someone's fear became our programming.
The question isn't whether you have untapped potential. You absolutely do.
The question is: What old decision is still running your life, and are you ready to let your nervous system release it?
Your creative soul isn't buried—it's just been waiting for permission to finally sprout.
“A memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom.”
― Joe Dispenza
What choice did you make to keep someone else comfortable that's been keeping your true potential dormant?
Being Coached Layers: The Inner Good Man
This week, Dr. Goodman says that deep inside everyone, there is an "inner good man" or "inner good woman" waiting to blossom—a dormant onion waiting to bloom. His role as a coach is to be a surrogate father, helping you find and give that inner voice permission to speak. Just as your father finally gave you permission to pursue your creative self, Dr. Goodman provides the tools for your truest self to thrive and live what he calls your "goodest life."
To identify what's dormant, Dr. Goodman explains that your innermost dominant thought determines your outermost tangible reality. That "glass ceiling" you experience isn't just an external barrier; it's reinforced by the person you see in the mirror. He says true release comes when you name the block, claim the power it has over you, and give yourself permission to have it removed.
Bookshelf Peeled - The Body Keeps the Score
This week's newsletter and my experience with Neuro Emotional Technique (NET) made me think of a powerful book I read, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. He taught me that our past isn't just a distant memory; it's held in our nervous system and body. The emotional charge from a long-ago decision—the kind that dropped my arm during my session—is something our physical being holds onto.
This gives a whole new meaning to our "Dormant Layer." What I learned is that our creative potential isn't just dormant because we forgot about it; it’s because our body's survival instincts put it on pause, like an onion's dormant phase. For that creative soul to finally sprout, we must first release the physical and emotional charge that's been keeping it safe, but also stuck.
The Body Keeps the Score
Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
Design Rebel: The Dormant Artist
This piece was inspired by the idea of an artist trapped in the warehouse of his own potential. He's French—because, well, who better to capture the chaotic romance of unexpressed art? The images were created with Leonardo.ai and given life through motion. The voice is from ElevenLabs, with the script and structure developed by me and my trusty Gemini. The final video was edited and produced in Wondershare Filmora.
Weekly Inspired Insights I liked or found useful this week:
This video explains the concept of emotions being stored in the body. It discusses how to process and release these emotions, making it highly relevant to an NET experience.
P.S. If this resonates with you, share it with someone. I'm dedicated to helping fellow explorers—or anyone who found this page—uncover their authentic self with humor and insight. We're all in this together, finding the courage to truly live from our core essence (or as close as we can get!).
The Center Layer: Approaching the Core (Tentative Title)
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